So it’s official. After a year and a half in NYC, I am packing my bags and leaving in a week. As I watch the sunset, I can sit here and brood all day long about how sad I am to be leaving this magical city full of secret treasures that I have yet to explore. Or the way I am choosing to see it, be in awe of all the experiences I’ve had, while conquering a dream off my bucket list.
NYC taught me so much more than I came for. Thinking I moved to the city to explore fashion blogging, but completely surprised by how my priorities and interests changed quickly. Finding a home away from home by surrounding myself with loving, supportive and helpful people. Pushing myself well beyond my comfort zone professionally and learning from some of the smartest and most hard working people I’ve ever met. Overwhelmed by the major sense of urgency behind everything; needing to know exactly what you want before you order, having exact change before you pay. No one has patience for anything, yet now, I won’t accept anything less. Dealing with a new level of brutal honesty that I was previously sheltered from being in my Canadian bubble. Waking up at 4am to party on a boat before work. Getting proposed to in my peacock costume on Halloween in our empty apartment. Returning back to the apartment to realize the flowers, Polaroid camera and champagne were gone but realizing those don’t matter in the grand scheme of things; they are all replaceable. The sweetest bachelorette with my girls. Getting married to the love of my life. Twice. Traveling to India and riding elephants in Bali. Meeting and falling in love with my new family on the other side of the world. Being apart from my loving partner for weeks at a time and learning how to cope with the distance. Exploring, eating, rooftops, sample sales, concerts, poetry slams, cooking, events; maximizing the most of each day. Learning that the only way to survive is to build a support group, and doing so very quickly. Moving way uptown, struggling with adjusting to the commute to eventually falling in love with my safe haven of an apartment complete with a rooftop with a killer view and dreamy twinkle lights. That one summer rooftop barbecue with old and new friends. Feeling like you’ve known these new friends for a lifetime. Experience the gap of what it means to be Canadian vs. American countless times. Learning the art of compromise and what it means to be married after the fancy wedding has come and gone, bridal gown is stuffed in a suitcase that needs to be dry cleaned, and the looming stack of thank you cards to write that are soon going to become holiday cards. Building on old friendships that only get stronger as we get older even though we’re miles apart. Learning how to be independent and making tough decisions. Living without much regret.
While it’s come with its challenges, I am so glad I took that leap of faith of moving to New York City on my own and going after something that I’ve always wanted. New York is always going to have a special place in my heart and I’m always going to have an itch to come back. With Paris and New York in my back pocket, they are a part of the web of a beautiful life story that I couldn’t have possibly mapped out for myself. Rather, I am enjoying watching all of the pieces of the puzzle slowly come together as it happens.
And here I am, facing another big life change and moving back to Toronto for the next little while. I feel incredibly lucky in being able to take this mental pause to really stop and think about what I want next in my life. The direction I want to go in. How I want to make an impact and change in this world. Spend quality time with my dear family and friends back home. Getting inspired. Reading books. Working out. Coloring. Creating. Writing. Learning new things like calligraphy, photography or painting.
Whatever and wherever it may be, I am looking forward to the next big life adventure, hand in hand with the mister. Thanks for reading, if you got this far ;)